Monday, October 18

I Let Myself Down Today

Today I let my anger get the best of me. When faced with the opportunity to rise above, I chose to sink. The saying is that we can’t control other peoples behaviors or how they treat us, we can only control our reactions. What if the person poking and prodding is your spouse? Parent, sibling or someone else close to you? Someone who knows just what to say that will get you to loose your mind.

I don’t feel like I’m crazy or hot tempered as I am often made out to be. But sometimes I just cant take the taunting and I react. Loose my crap… voice is raised, yelling ensues, things go flying and ultimately I make a fool of myself and give the other person the satisfaction of knowing that they succeeded in making me look crazy.

I’m a mom of three and during the summer time my husband runs a summer camp. He leaves early and is home late everyday during the week. Luckily for us my schedule is very flexible and it allows me to be with the kids over summer when needed. As much as we try to show each other grace, it is inevitable that we eventually become a little bitter towards each other. I feel like he doesn’t do enough when he is home and he feels like he deserves to do nothing because he has been working all day. I try to remember that he does have a grueling schedule that demands a lot of him over the summer but I too have a schedule that demands a lot of me. And in most instances what I need to address in my business is set aside so that he can focus on his priorities.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of animosity and built up anger and eventually comes out as passive aggressive behavior. My frustration comes from not feeling heard or understood. Why cant he just acknowledge that I do a lot and that driving when running errands or putting the kids to bed once a week would be nice and a much appreciated gesture?

So often wives find themselves feeling overworked and under appreciated. When we express how we are feeling we are often dismissed. Our roles are simplified and often viewed as easy trivial work that anyone can do. That we shouldn’t complain because our lives are so easy. Rather than addressing the issue at hand the tables are often turned on us and we are picked apart, told what our flaws are and what we need to work on. So today…. I had enough. What started as a great day ended with me loosing my crap.

See the truth is, pointing out someone else’s flaws doesn’t make yours disappear and a little acknowledgement and appreciation can go a long way.

xo-Savannah

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